home loan finance blog
The lizard brain.
The ego.
The mind.
There are many labels for what I’m about to cover, but for now, let’s refer to it as the ego.
It’s that part of you that holds you back. It has good intentions, but it makes you feel like you’re not good enough.
It makes you feel like you can’t build a lifestyle business around your passion.
The solution is to realize what’s really going on.
Those thoughts of insecurity and negativity are merely thoughts. And you are not your thoughts. You are the awareness behind your thoughts.
You make the drama of life possible.
You are the dance floor, not the dance.
Let’s dive into how your ego sabotages your business and life, so you can become more aware of what’s going on.
1. Comparison
Comparing yourself to others will make you miserable.
It made me miserable. I looked at fellow change-makers, and I saw how much more subscribers they had.
I thought I would never reach the same level.
But the truth is that I don’t have to reach any level, because all of this is going on in my head. All I have to do is follow my excitement.
I can only do what I can do.
If I try to follow someone else, I’ll end up even more miserable.
Stop comparing yourself to anyone, and start following that inner voice of wisdom that’s always been there waiting for you.
2. Excuses
I’ve written a lot about excuses.
Thoughts will pop into your head for why you can’t do this.
Whether you give those thoughts authority or not is up to you.
No one can stand in your way if you’re determined enough to take action. It’s now or never. You can make excuses, or you can take action.
Stop waiting for things to fall into place.
Stop waiting for that perfect business idea, and just start.
I held myself back with excuses for several years before I started. Don’t let that be you.
3. Intense Desire
Building a business takes time. If you’re constantly waiting for the future, you’ll suffer.
Instead, learn to be happy in the present moment.
How do you do that?
You stop living in your mind and reclaim your place in the present moment.
Notice your breathing going in and out.
Become aware of your whole body, and feel the aliveness that’s already here.
No external circumstances can give you happiness, because happiness comes from the inside. Even people who win the lottery eventually return to their normal state of happiness.
Intense desire not only leads to suffering, but it also makes you feel like you have to force success.
In the end, there is no rush, so learn to enjoy what you already have, then take steps from that state of positivity and your life will change.
4. Discomfort Avoidance
This too shall pass.
Everything will dissolve sooner or later.
I will die. You will die. Everything is in constant flux. Everything changes.
Security is an illusion. And discomfort is created in the mind. Life is not good or bad, but how you relate to it determines how you feel.
When you build a business, you will have to face your inner demons. You will have to put yourself out there and keep going when the going gets tough.
Life will throw challenges at you whether you start now or later, because that’s how we grow as human beings. We’re here to learn from the challenges we face.
Your ego will want to run away. It wants safety and comfort, which in reality doesn’t exist. When you stay present with the madness of the mind, everything changes.
5. Trying to Figure It Out
This is a big one.
Our mind wants to analyze, think, and then think some more.
But trying to figure out the perfect formula doesn’t work. Believe me, I’ve tried. If you’re just starting out, you don’t know what to expect. You have no experience, which means you can’t figure anything out, because you don’t know the variables.
Even now when I know what I’m doing, I still can’t figure things out. I can’t predict the future.
This used to drive me crazy. Now I breathe and say yes to the uncertainty. I still feel discomfort from time to time, but that’s okay.
All I can do is follow my heart and do my best.
Perfection is not required to do what you love.
6. Selfishness
I’m the happiest when I give freely.
And this is a moment in my life when I’m giving more than I have ever given in the past.
This doesn’t mean I give away all my products. It just means that I’m constantly thinking about how I can add value to the people I come in contact with.
I think about what’s best for my readers, customers and clients. I think about how I can give more without burning myself out.
When you shift your mindset to giving, even if you don’t have much, your life will change, because the more you give, the more you get.
Within reason, of course.
7. Freak Outs
Finally, we have freak outs.
Freak outs are to be expected when you’re doing something meaningful.
You’ll notice that you’re in a freak out because you think all hope is lost. It feels like your whole world is collapsing around you.
It feels like you’re not good enough.
It feels like all the work you’ve put into starting a lifestyle business is for naught.
When you notice what’s going on, all you can do is welcome it. Say yes to the negativity, but don’t take any action from this state.
If you take action when you feel negative, it’ll lead to more negativity. Break the cycle by becoming intensely present with what you are feeling.
Let go of the obsessive thoughts and breathe.
Transform Your Life, Transform Your Business
If you can really take in what you’ve just read, your life will change.
I know it has changed mine.
It takes time though, so be okay with however long it takes. There’s no rush. You might notice your ego popping up once a week, and that’s fine.
You’ll get better.
But above all, know that you already have what you need to get started.
There’s nothing holding you back from starting your lifestyle business except the thoughts you choose to believe in.